In my mid-twenties and early thirties, I suffered a handful of setbacks that landed me in the hospital. I made it through college and graduate school but was unprepared emotionally to make the transition to functioning adult. I read books on mental illness and emotional intelligence so I could recognize my symptoms while they were happening. I was surprised how many people had experiences with depression, anxiety, or other mental illnesses or knew someone who did. I felt like a hollow shell of my former self. I was on very strong medication that made it difficult to follow conversation and “feel” typical emotions. I was turning 21 and I had strict orders to stay away from alcohol and keep a 10pm bedtime. When I returned to school for my junior year I left both athletic teams I competed on to focus on my health. I am extremely fortunate to have family members who were responsive to my medical needs and sought care immediately when I couldn’t do it myself. It shocks me that the average time for a US citizen to get care after their first episode is 74 weeks (that could be due to a number of factors I guess). The article talks about the chances for the individual to have a successful future largely depends on how quickly the patient gets care after the first psychotic episode. I read an article on FEP or First Episode Psychosis which is what I experienced in 2001. They brought me to a hospital within a week of my First Episode Psychosis. At other times I would convince them I was fine. At times I tried to warn my family something was wrong. I now can tell you my hallucinations were extensions of normal thoughts I had prior to suffering sleep deprivation. There were moments of clarity followed by delusion. It was a gradual decline into psychosis over a matter of days. For whatever reason I stopped sleeping at night. I spent that summer training for the upcoming season. I’ve replayed the events that lead to my 2001 hospitalization over and over in my mind throughout the years. I had no history of mental illness and did not understand anxiety as I do today. I had my insecurities but was confident I would succeed in life. In college I was a two-sport athlete on academic scholarship. I hope my story can help those who suffer from mental illness and enlighten others to the challenges we face receiving adequate care. There was also a time I didn’t think fatherhood would happen at all. Honestly, I thought that would have happened in my late twenties. I want to be part of the solution that ends the stigma. ![]() As a professional I worry disclosure can cost me opportunities. ![]() In college I feared my peers would view me as a freak. I’m 37 years old and I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder as a 20-year-old college junior.
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